Do not ship liquids, blood or diagnostics in this packaging.

Kate and I were supposed to have gone first thing in the morning for a Hot Air Balloon Ride on our anniversary, since I used the word supposed I guess you have already figured out that it didn’t happen.  I got the call from the guy and the weather would not allow us to make the trip, it did turn out to be a gorgeous day, but there was too much fog early in the morning.  So as you are reading this, or first thing this morning hopefully we are floating far above ground (just got the call cancelled because of wind we are going to have to reschedule).

We left off at the decision, wouldn’t it be nice if you could just decide to donate a kidney and that was it, you were done, well that’s not the case.  There is a lot of poking prodding and making sure that you are healthy enough to be a donor.   The first thing you have to know is that you are a blood type match, check we had that one down.  But blood type isn’t enough.   I guess there are 6 things they match your blood on, the way it was explained to me was that they would put my blood and Ashley’s blood together and make sure they don’t fight. 

I was scheduled to give a blood sample in west palm beach and have it sent to UNC so they could do the test, your blood is only good for 48 hours or some short period of time so it has to be shipped immediately overnight.  I had never shipped blood before, but I assumed there was probably a special way that they transported blood.  Well I have to let you know FedEx is how I sent it, in the envelope that says please do not shipliquids, blood or diagnostics in this packaging. After they drew my blood they told me that the FedEx guy had already come so I was going to have to take it to the FedEx place myself, so we sealed it up and I drove it to FedEx and off it went to UNC.  I’m just glad my blood didn’t have a castaway situation, and I wonder what the statute of limitations is on shipping blood, I hope it is less than a year.

Well I guess you know since I have continued to go through further testing, yes I was a match with Ashley, I think it was 4 out of 6 on the chart, so we were a good blood match.  That meant we were set for the next set of tests which involved going to UNC for 3 days a Tuesday through Thursday to make sure I was healthy enough to donate and it was something I could do.  I don’t remember the exact dates of when a lot of this happened, I know we were trying to get this done before the trip to Europe in April of 2011 but our coordinator suggested we enjoy Europe and have the tests when we returned so we scheduled the tests for the end of May 2011. 

But that is a story for tomorrow, sorry this one is short but it was my anniversary cut me some slack, would I rather you get mad at me or my wife?  Well unfortunately I didn’t get that choice since I suggested going skiing the weekend before the donation, I guess that’s frowned upon by some people.  The idea of getting hurt and not being able to do the donation, but seriously what are the chances, lots of people ski or snowboard all the time and don’t get hurt.  Well as we go along we will find out who wins this one, and feel free to comment with your vote. 

To Ski or Not To Ski?

I Kidney Valentine’s Day

You knew I couldn't let Kate have the whole day to herself, plus I only have 3 weeks to get this story up to date before the donation, so quick read today and Update on the status and Dates.

Today is Kate’s and my 3^rd wedding anniversary, so I have to start with a happy anniversary to my beautiful wife.  It is hard to believe the time has flown by so quickly, seems like only yesterday we started dating, I am really excited to see where the next 3 years bring us not to mention the many more years after that.

So we got pretty big news yesterday, everything seems to be signed off on, and all the I’s are crossed and the t’s are dotted and I am scheduled for preop on Feb 9^th, with the surgery to be scheduled on Feb 14^th.  That is right Valentine’s day, so I hope Kate isn’t jealous but I guess I am giving Ashley a (insert whatever word fits here in your mind, cause they all seemed a little weird to me) better valentine's gift than I will be giving to Kate. 

My emotions are fluctuating from excitement, to apprehension, to being a little overwhelmed with the thoughts of all the things that still have to happen.  Of course these dates aren’t 100% finalized, the board will meet on Monday the 30^th on our case and finalize the dates, but the coordinator said he didn’t see why it wouldn’t move forward.  I’m not sure how I expected to feel right now, but I still am waiting for another shoe to drop as they say, and still have one more delay, but I will stay positive and go back to the story.

How do you make a decision like this?

This is a decision that not only affects you but your wife, both of your families, your work, your friends at work, your friends, your mailman, the neighbors, 490 friends on facebook and well I guess it took it too far but at some level this decision has a lot of impact.  I don’t want to minimize the thoughts both Kate and I put into this decision individually, but there was never any doubt for either of us, that one of us was going to donate.

How do you decide who?

When both of us are saying that we aren’t going to let the other one do it.  Well as a man I try to use logic and as a woman Kate wants to use emotion.  It was a long conversation that took most of our drive back to Florida, and still continued weeks after that.  When we first talked to UNC we asked if we both could be tested to see if we were a match before deciding which one would go through with the procedure, however this wasn’t an option.  They will only test one possible donor at a time.

This accelerated the decision process, in Kate’s mind it was her friend and she wanted to do it, she didn’t want to put this off on me. In my mind I have a job with benefits such as sick time, a sick leave pool, and would be covered by FMLA (family medical leave act), Kate works for herself and if she can’t work there is no one to do the work for her, and she doesn’t get paid. 

In Kate’s mind it is her best friend and she should be the one to do it, wait I already said that, but this is sometimes how these things go.  In my mind, Kate works out of the house, so she could help me during recovery much better than I could help her from the office. 

In Kate’s mind she doesn’t want to worry about the health of her husband and she thinks she is tougher than me (I don’t agree with that last part). The last point we came too that was in favor of me donating was that we wanted to have children, and even though you can have children after a kidney donation, did we want to have to wait till after the recovery and put Kate’s body through that much more strain.  So Logic prevailed in our case and we chose me to be the donor.

It wasn’t an easy decision; it didn’t come without a lot of prayer, thought, and consideration.  Now that we are within a month of the surgery and with all the hoops we have had to jump through there is no doubt in my mind that it was the correct decision. 

3rd Anniversary

Since I have been following along with all of Jeremy’s posts (and no I have not been proof reading them before he posts), I have had some things to add or comment about. It is funny how he does not even know all the details of his firsthand account. So I thought I would add a few words about the whole proposal and wedding – and add those much requested pictures. And being that it is our 3rd anniversary today, I thought it would be fitting.

The story of how we met, started dating, got engaged and then our wedding day is quite the fairy tale. Jeremy did not go into all the sappy details in his past posts. But it is truly amazing to see how God brought each one of us to a place where we were ready for each other. The first Peru mission trip was a big changing point for both Jeremy and me. I am so thankful that we both stepped out in faith to go on that trip.

While on that first trip in Peru, the turning point in our relationship came on the last day. I wanted to go back and do some final sewing (go figure), so Jeremy volunteered to escort me. Next, our team jumped on a plane back to Lima; during the flight I got a little sick. Then on our bus ride I laid down in the back row. And who do you think came and sat with me? Oh yeah, Jeremy – taking one for the team. As we made our way to the coast, Jeremy told me I had to sit up to see the view. So he put his arm around me to help me sit up…. And he never took his arm away. What a smooth guy.

A year later we were back in Lima, Peru. Everyone, I mean everyone on the trip thought we were going to get engaged. But no ring appeared while we were on the mission trip. The day after we returned to the states, Jeremy suggested we go to dinner since we didn’t officially celebrate our anniversary. I suggested The River House (my favorite restaurant) and he agreed. I knew something was up – he would never normally agree to an expensive meal like that. After dinner we drove along the coast and ended up at the jetty. Now at this point I was really suspicious. We had never been back there since our first date and first kiss. So we were standing at the end of the jetty for what felt like forever. The whole time I was thinking – he is going to ask me! But time kept passing on. There was a guy fishing, a father & daughter trying to catch crabs and people standing all around us. By the time I came to the conclusion that nothing was going to happen and that standing on a jetty was his idea of romance (ugh) he said “I can’t wait any longer”. He then dropped to one knee and asked. After all the waiting I was so excited to say YES.  (ps... above are the shoes that first caught his eye)

The ring – oh the beautiful ring. It was perfect and so beautiful. Jeremy and I did not talk about rings or marriage (we like the element of surprise), so good thing he went to Ashley. I had confided in her that I had a dream about a wedding ring with polka dots. And Jeremy knowing me so well – he knew pink would have to be involved. I think Ashley also steered him towards white gold; I am forever thankful!

Now our wedding day was wonderful. Don’t get me wrong, we had more than our fair share of mishaps. Like our reception location moving the morning of our wedding. Small things like that. But it was a beautiful afternoon that we got to spend with our closes friends and family – all 225 of them!

Ashley was one of my bridesmaids. I was so blessed to have her stand next to me while I married such a special man. She came down a couple of days early to help with the final details. She also helped my sisters plan a much talked about bachelorette party. Ashley was actually the last person I shared a room with before I became a married woman – now that is a friendship.

I am sure Jeremy will be back again tomorrow to continue the journey to the kidney donations. But before I go…. Here are our wedding vows. Now you all know them and will have to quiz us on them.

Our Vows

I Promise to pursue my relationship with God as my number one priority. I will make sure nothing else takes His place in my life.

I promise not to look to you as my source of contentment, but let God meet my needs and trust Him regardless of our circumstances.

I promise to look at our life together as having one purpose, that is, that we will serve God and follow Him together wherever He leads us.

I will unconditionally accept your feelings; and approach you knowing whatever you say is out of love.

I promise to tell you the truth and I promise to accept the truth from you. I will make sure that it’s always safe to talk to me. I promise not to hurt you with unkind words.

I promise to be quick to forgive, and once I’ve forgiven you I promise to never bring it up again.

I understand the perils of expectations and promise to communicate them openly and not require you to meet them.

I promise to support you and put your needs and wants ahead of my needs and wants.

I promise to try and always see you the way that Gods does: Forgiven, Whole and Treasured.

Running out of Gas

I’m not really sure where to start, so maybe from the beginning.  Last week I fixed my alarm so it would only vibrate with no noise to wake me up, which is how my blackberry used to work, however this morning it didn’t wake me up this morning.  Since I am old and have been waking up at the same time for 10 years I woke up only 10 minutes late(right now I’m thinking this whole blog post is either going to be 10,000 words or just about my day), well let’s find out. 

I am going to skip the first story of the day because it has too much back story, which can be a full blog after the surgery (that’s right I am going to blog after the surgery).  This morning on the way to work I saw a guy in a wheelchair going down the side of Australian Blvd.  I’m not sure what came over me but I just knew that he needed help, so I turned the jeep around and went back to see if there was anything I could do to help.  His name was Ray he was missing a foot, he asked me for a ride to the Bus Depot.  So I pushed him up next to the jeep, with no top mind you, and he climbed up into it.  I threw the wheelchair in the back seat and we took off for the Bus Depot, it is only a mile or so up the road, not that big a deal, I dropped him off gave him an apple and some crackers that I had for lunch while totally forgetting to give him the bottle of water that had been sitting right in front of him the whole ride (still can’t believe I didn’t give him that water), anyway on the way to work it really just felt so pointless what I do for a living.  I mean there is so much need in the world and what am I contributing on a daily basis, I have found that when you go on the mission trips it really turns down the volume on everything else in your life, and it has become kind of the same thing with the kidney donation, other things don’t seem quite as important (like Blackberry’s not syncing the calendar, or a bill not getting paid on time)

Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these
brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Let’s go back to the road trip before I finish the story of my day.  Kate and I made the last stop in Chapel Hill to see Ashley who was in the hospital, we knew she wasn’t doing well; the doctors weren’t exactly sure what was going on, whether it was rejection, or exactly what the deal was.  I don’t know about you but I have been fortunate and have spent very little time in the hospital, as a patient or visiting people (I’m not so sure if not visiting people in the hospital is something to be proud of, I think it just means that I haven’t been reaching out to enough people).  My family has been fairly healthy, and I am very thankful for that.

To realize how much of her life Ashley has spent in the hospital is a totally humbling realization, when you visit her there, she just makes it seem like something that everyone has to do (don’t get me wrong I know she doesn’t want to be there, but she handles it so much better than I ever could).  When we visited her she had known she needed a kidney for at least 6 months, she told us that she didn’t want to tell us over the phone.  She had tried to plan a trip down to see us, but she just wasn’t healthy enough, and that was when she was going to tell us. We talked about options and what they meant and what many of them looked like and I knew that it was going to be me.  Kate was willing to do it, but I just knew with the circumstance that wasn’t going to make sense.  We had a nice visit with Ashley some good Thai Food, and after two days we got in the car to head home.

We honestly didn’t make it past one light before I had to pull over because Kate was in tears.  It really is a hard thing to drive away from someone you love who you aren’t sure if you will see again and not be able to do anything about it.  I told Kate she could stay and fly back later, but she didn’t want to do that.  We spent the whole 11 hour drive back to Florida talking about what the next step would be, we really thought we would be donating a kidney in early 2011 not early 2012.  It’s crazy to thing this is still going on , and it has taken this kind of time, at times it has been an exciting journey, and at others as frustrating as you can imagine.  But I wouldn’t change it, there is a plan and a purpose, and I look forward to seeing where it leads next.

So back to the rest of our day, I decided to fast for the day as we were waiting for news from the doctors.  It was a long day I had contacted my doctor at 9:30 and by 3:30 still hadn’t heard anything and UNC was calling me to find out some news.  I called back and got deflected by a very nice receptionist, she listened to me patiently even though I knew she really couldn’t do anything, it was appreciated. 

This brings us to running out of gas, so when I got home we were supposed to take a bunch of dry cleaning to get done because we had 3 groupons that expired today.  The dry cleaning place is close to the lake trail where we like to walk Abby, so we thought we should take her and go for a walk.  Well I usually can get 300 miles a tank on the new jeep, so we were on our way and the odometer read 281, but I forgot that last time I filled up I used a card with that didn’t fill the tank all the way, so at 291 on Palm Beach on Okeechobee blvd sitting at a light the jeep stalled out.  So it was pushing time, I went to the back and Kate steered, I’m glad jeeps are light. We made our first right and got to a stop sign where a guy in a truck offered to push us to the gas station, if by chance you pushed a black jeep to a gas station, thanks.  We passed some Valet’s who were laughing up a storm, and a couple of cops, who let us go in front of them at the stop sign, told the guy thanks gassed up and hit the dry cleaners.  I find it humbling on days when I think I am able to help people and then I become one of the "least of these" right before my own eyes,  God has a great sense of humor.

Kate’s long story short the dry cleaner would only take one of the groupons, so we left 37 dollars worth of dry-cleaning and took home 60 dollars more, he said we could only have one per household even though we were able to buy 2 each, oh well, now we have to try to get a refund.  So we are 0 for 2 so far, and we only got to one task.  So now we are off to take Abby for a walk.   We get to the Lake Trail, and I feel a drop, remember we have no doors or top on the jeep, Kate feels a drop, it is starting to rain, we decide to skip the walk, but get stuck in traffic on the royal poinsettia bridge.  We manage to break through traffic as it starts to rain harder, and then we are stuck again.  I make a liberal left turn into a covered gas station so we can fill the rest of the way up, and dry off.  As we are filling up, there is a rainbow back towards where we came from, which always reminds me of Genesis 9:12-13 ” And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth”. 

We made it home staying dry, walked Abby behind the house, were startled by the 8 foot gator in the lake and had a great dinner.  Did I mention that the Dr. Called me and said that none of my Dad’s conditions were hereditary and he was going to send UNC a letter to OK me to donate.  I guess I didn’t but hopefully tomorrow we should have a better idea of when the surgery is going to happen.  See you tomorrow same bat time, same bat place.