Monday, February 13, 2012

Realizations when donating a kidney (Jeremy)

In no Particular Order
1.       You have two kidneys (most people probably already know this)
2.       You can live a complete life with one kidney.
3.       Many people are born with one kidney (Two of my friends told me they only had one kidney after they found out I was donate, needless to say they will never be able to donate a kidney)
4.       They prefer to use the left kidney for donations.
5.       That they basically try to talk you out of doing it (they should send marriage counselors to the same training, just saying there might be fewer divorces)
6.       One of the surgeons makes the scar stay below the bikini line. (All the ladies want him, It doesn’t really matter to me, I wear one pieces)
7.       A living donor kidney can last twice as long as a cadaver donor.
8.       The kidney has a better chance of taking if you get it before you go on dialysis.
9.       The procedure is covered under FMLA
10.   People don’t know what to say when you tell them
11.   You don’t know what to say to them
12.   You have a misshapen spleen (maybe not you but I do)
13.   Giving blood too much and eating poorly can give you low iron
14.   Men’s one a day pills don’t have iron in them
15.   You have to get Geritol or a Women’s pill ( I went with Geritol, makes me sound old)
16.   Surgery’s don’t work on your schedule (even if they told you it would)
17.   Insurance companies don’t care about you or your life
18.   Or whether things are convenient
19.   You can’t go skiing two days before donating a kidney (at least if you’re married)
20.   People don’t know what the kidneys do; they get them confused with the liver
21.   They think because you only have one kidney your immune system will be compromised.
22.   That you can’t get your kidney back if it doesn’t work out for the recipient.
23.   There are no good Kidney jokes.
24.   You need to shave your arms before going to the hospital (the tape holding the IV in is the worst)
25.   Hospital gowns don’t close all the way in the back
26.   The prep for a colonoscopy is no fun but not the worst thing ever
27.   Do you think God laughs every time we kiss and our noses get in the way (I know nothing to do with the kidney)
28.   You can get a jeep  (little did I realize that this was because the Gilmore Girls (Kates favorite show) had a jeep).
29.   You can write a blog, (and some people will actually read it)
30.   People immediately think it is a family member, and can’t believe you would give a kidney to someone that isn’t a family member.
31.   Your parents still think of you as a kid no matter how old you are.
32.   So does your Grammy.
33.   That you can ship blood in the FedEx envelopes that say not too (I guess).
34.   That they do ultrasounds for things besides being pregnant.
35.   That the dye they put in intravenously for the CT scan makes it feel like you wet yourself (but you can’t check because you aren’t allowed to move).
36.   That you have a great wife ( I knew that)
37.   And a great family (knew that too)
38.   And a great group of friends to support you
39.   Lastly you learn that people think you are better than you actually are.
40.   You think you’re still the same as you were before you decided to donate a kidney.
41.   But the most important thing you learn is, donating a kidney doesn’t get you any special treatment, you are still expected to empty the dishwasher, take out the trash, and mow the yard (even though Kate and Rick (Kate’s Dad(Can you use parentheses inside of parentheses(How would you multiply this out if it was math(just wanted to see if I could use another one.))))  mowed it last Saturday for me while I was working, Thanks). 
42.   I can’t just walk into somewhere and say I donated a kidney and expect to get free things, but if you guys want to give me free stuff I can get you my address or paypal account to make it easier. (My biggest request is a round of golf on Pinehurst #2 while I am up in chapel hill, it could be my first round of golf after the surgery, what a good piece of advertising for them.(How long before you think I can play golf after the surgery(I’m doing it again))).
Kate is going to chime in with her realizations tomorrow so be sure to check that out.

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